I just had to add knobhead to my Microsoft Word. I couldn’t be happier about the fact. The person I refer to is the mercurial, opinion slicing delinquent that is Mario Balotelli. Firstly let it be clear this isn’t another mindless attack based on the principles of how he should be proud to pull on the shirt and the amount of money he makes, well it is slightly but this isn’t a bog standard finger wagging. Let’s be clear, undeniably the man is a character. He is a talking point; it seems he is always in the news and this week was no different. However on this occasion it’s not some quasi true wives tale of him going into a hospital and reviving a dead person from the mortuary slabwork by waving wads of cash under their nose. Admittedly I'm being dramatic, but the tales have gone on far enough. Damon Albarn of Blur once sang ‘I'm a professional cynic but my hearts not in it’. I am a sufferer of this ailment and it’s this that makes me believe these stories must come from somewhere. I'm sure Mario Balotelli has a very well paid PR team is what I'm saying in this digression. At the weekend ‘Super Mario’ quite blatantly stamped, kicked whatever you want to call it Scott Parker in the head.
It’s just another bizarre moment in the crazy world of Mario Balotelli. But what irks me about the situations he seems to draw himself into is his undisputed talent. The boy can play, and then some. Raw talent is hard to come by and his mixture of pace, power and precision is a deadly combination capable of turning any game against any team on its head in a moment of brilliance. Unfortunately he seems to have some sort of contempt for normality, an aversion to the subtle and a lure toward the surreal.
In my oh so humble opinion I think Mario has Frankensteined himself. He has created a monster he no longer seems to have any control over, and people don’t know how to react to it. A while ago footballers with the lean toward the crazy such as Robin Friday, Stan Bowles or Rodney Marsh were heralded and considered heroes. Those were the days of a lot less money however and these were working class heroes. I know nothing of Mario’s background, other than he was adopted when young and has refused to meet his birth parents in the recent past; but he seems a very sully character. Extremely moody, despondent and spoilt. I also know he is a very charitable person, areas of his birthland Ghana can vouch for that, where he has given back a lot of money. These are the stories that should be reported about Mario, not the moron feeding tabloid fodder we read about day in day out.
It’s almost upsetting that he seems to take no joy from being extremely talented, rich and loved by some. He has taken on a cult status but not for what he does after crossing the white line but for the sideshow, the jester side of his game that has usurped his supreme level of skill and made him the butt of jokes across the footballing world. Manchester City fans don’t care. Fans I used to respect but since they became the indulgents of the biggest of all football club takeovers their fans have become the smuggest, most self assured and greedy of fans, who rightly so, feel untouchable as they monopolise the transfer market and live on a safety net of borrowed money against rich Sheikhs offshore accounts. The green eyed monster of an Everton fan, where moths fly out of wallets and cobwebs string along debit cards may be rearing its head but I feel I make a valid point.
Mario Balotelli’s agent has come out today speaking some old twaddle about victimised foreigners and persecuted Mario today, it’s such mindless dribble I wouldn’t and couldn’t go into the details without feeling mind numbingly nauseated because, maybe it’s just me, or my eyes, maybe I'm going blind yet on Sunday it seemed Scott Parker was the victim as he was the one being kicked in the face. Why always you Mario, because you and the people around you seem to bring it upon yourself.
Victimised? Hilarious.
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